There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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