Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
