Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
