she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
