Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
