i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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