walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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