I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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