What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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