Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
