I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
