You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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