dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
