i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.