Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes