Its about making memories worth repressing
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.