I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?