so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you would pick up someone in the library
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
