Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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