Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
