Sry I called you an 8
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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