Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
