I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
