shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
