with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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