I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
