wrigley field is MILF paradise
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Who wears a wallet chain?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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