i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
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I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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