I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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