so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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