I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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