just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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