I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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