I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
