Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize