What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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