I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
