Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
