I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
