I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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