Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
