also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
