I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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