And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
