we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
