nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
