I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize