Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
