Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
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She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
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Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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