We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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