Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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