I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
