it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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