Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize