my shit smells like andre
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
