Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
