just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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