Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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