We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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